Episode 290: "I'm Only Loved When I'm Perfect": The Lie Fueling Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Being Human
Perfectionism doesn't always come from loving excellence. Sometimes it's the only way you've ever known how to feel safe. In the first episode of a new series on Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, Dr. Greg unpacks how perfectionism, rigidity, and control take root—and why, underneath them, control quietly fills the space where trust was supposed to be. Key Topics: * Why the pursuit of perfection is often less about loving excellence and more about not feeling safe without it * How "until I'm perfect, I'm not loved" becomes the sentence an entire personality gets built on * Why one small mistake can feel like disconnection instead of just a mistake * How conscientiousness and perfectionism can look identical from the outside—and the one thing that tells them apart * Why you can get everything right and still never feel free to rest * Why the love you keep trying to earn was already given—before you got anything right Learn More: * Person and Act and Related Essays by Karol Wojtyła (St. John Paul II) — the anthropology of self-possession and self-gift behind this episode * Join a future Black Elk healing retreat at the Hawkeye Ranch in Wyoming * Episode referenced on spiritual bypassing and scrupulosity: * Ep. #288: Why "Everything Happens for a Reason" Isn't Working: The Holy Words We Use to Avoid Healing * Inner Parts Easy Conversation Guide — an audio guide to get to know your inner parts. * Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: * Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns * Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: * Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation * Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: * Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation * Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: * Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing * Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: * Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary * Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation * Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn