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Being On Time - I Just Start the Circus Earlier

Catholic Mom Calm

Getting kids out the door is a banana circus. That's what I told my daughter in the driveway the other morning, after somebody forgot a lunch and we had to turn around and come back. It's going to be a circus no matter what I do, because children bring chaos and no amount of systems fixes that. The only reason we're never late to school is that I just start the circus earlier than other people do. So this episode is about being on time when you have kids, and underneath that it's really about how you adopt a new identity without beating yourself up to get there. I tell you where my own on-time thing came from (a vow I made in my heart as a little girl, which was woundedness), what it looked like to heal that and still genuinely like being on time, and then the actual mechanics: five minutes per kid, the five more minutes nobody budgets for between the front door and driving away, and accounting for the traffic and the train. If you're chronically late, hear me say first that this is not a salvation issue and there is nothing wrong with you. And then if you want this, here's how. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: * Where a "person who is never late" identity can come from, and the vow I made in my heart as a kid that I later had to go back and heal with Jesus * Healing the wound without losing the habit, because being late doesn't have to mean anything about my character or about what I'm communicating to the host * The five minutes per kid rule, plus the five minutes almost nobody budgets for between walking out the front door and actually pulling away * Why I start telling everyone it's time to go a full 20 minutes before I want to be driving * Why I help them find the shoes instead of waiting on them, since being on time matters to me and it doesn't matter to any of them * Living with a husband whose identity has nothing to do with being on time (except for mass), when to prime him about parking, and then letting it go * How you actually adopt a new identity: decide clearly, ask what a person like this would do, then practice it until your brain says okay, this is who we are * Growing from peace instead of from "I'm so terrible," because you're perfectly lovable right now and you can still calmly decide you'd like something different * Predictable chaos, the train you can get stuck behind for eight minutes, and bringing order to the parts you actually control EPISODE TIMELINE: * [00:00] – Growing up with a single mom, the tunnel traffic, and the vow I made about never being late * [05:00] – Adding a baby to the timeline, then a three-year-old who can't find shoes, and adjusting for every kid * [10:00] – Seeing the on-time thing as woundedness, healing it, and deciding that late doesn't mean anything about me * [15:00] – A husband who doesn't care about being on time (except for mass), priming him, and then letting it go * [20:00] – How identity actually works, 21 days versus 250 days, and deciding who you want to be * [25:00] – The banana circus in the driveway, starting it earlier, the Sandpoint train, and a million roses for Mary LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: * One Million Rosaries Challenge (join any time, the rosaries you pray after you sign up still count toward the total): https://onemillionrosaries.com * Catholic Mom Calm (where I teach you how to go back to a memory with Jesus and heal it): https://catholicmomcalm.com * Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts, the series on wounds and vows: https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com/ * Atomic Habits by James Clear: https://amzn.to/4hEzeew CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: * Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com * Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm