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Lenten Retreat: The Dismantling of the Religious Self, Session Two

Philokalia Ministries

The Dismantling of the Religious Self Four Lenten Reflections on Delusion, Abandonment, and the Life That Remains in God “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”John 12:24 Second Reflection The Violence We Call Righteousness On the Ego That Survives Inside Virtue “They being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and seeking to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.”Romans 10:3 When the man sees that fulfillment cannot be found in religious life itself, he turns toward righteousness. He disciplines himself. He purifies his conduct. He restrains his passions. He orders his thoughts. He seeks purity. Outwardly, transformation occurs. Inwardly, something remains untouched. The ego survives. It survives inside virtue. St. John Climacus writes that vainglory completes every virtue the man performs. It attaches itself to fasting.It attaches itself to prayer.It attaches itself to obedience. It whispers: This is yours.Virtue becomes possession.The man begins to live from righteousness.He experiences himself as stable because he is righteous.He trusts his righteousness.This trust separates him from God.Because union with God requires the loss of trust in oneself as source of life. The Pharisee stands before God and speaks truth.He fasts.He obeys.He lives faithfully.And remains separate.Because he still exists as the center of his own existence.The tax collector possesses nothing.He cannot lift his eyes.He does not trust himself.Christ says he goes home justified.Because justification belongs to the man who has nothing left to preserve. St. Isaac says that until the soul despairs of itself, it cannot rest in God.Not emotional despair.Ontological despair. The knowledge that one does not possess life. Righteousness that preserves the ego prevents union. Because union requires death.Not moral improvement. Death.The man must lose the self that lives apart from God. Virtue cannot substitute for this death.Virtue can conceal it.The ego can survive indefinitely inside righteousness. And remain alone.⸻This is the most dangerous stage of the spiritual life. Because sin is obvious.But righteousness can conceal separation.The sinful man knows he is sick.The righteous man believes he is alive. Christ said to the church of Laodicea, “You say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” Revelation 3:17 This is not addressed to pagans.This is addressed to believers.To those who have acquired religious identity.To those who possess righteousness and draw life from it. They do not feel their need. They do not cry out. They do not seek life because they believe they possess it. This is why Christ says, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:32 Not because the righteous do not need Him.But because those who believe themselves righteous cannot receive Him. They are full.And God only fills the empty. St. Sophrony writes that the greatest tragedy is when man begins to live from himself rather than from God. Even if this life is clothed in virtue, it remains separation. It remains death. Virtue can purify behavior without destroying autonomy. It can cleanse the exterior while leaving the center untouched. Christ speaks with terrifying clarity about this. “You clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self indulgence.” Matthew 23:25 The outside can be purified. The inside can remain intact. The ego does not resist virtue. It feeds on virtue. It incorporates virtue into itself. It expands through virtue. It becomes righteous. And this righteousness becomes its shield against God. Because God does not come to improve the ego. He comes to crucify it. St. Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in