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The Virtue of Fidelity (Fidelitas) a Part of Fortitude - VirTrue Episode 49

VirTrue - Helping Man Grow in Truth and Virtue

You said you would. Maybe you said it standing at an altar. Maybe you said it at the baptismal font. Maybe you made a promise to your children, your friend, your employer, your religious superior, or simply to God in the silence of prayer. At the moment we make a promise, keeping it can seem easy. Then time passes. Circumstances change. The thing we promised becomes difficult. The person we promised disappoints us. Something better comes along. Or keeping our word begins to cost far more than we imagined when we gave it. That is when Fidelity becomes necessary. Because a promise reaches out of the present moment and places an obligation upon the person we will be tomorrow. The faithful man does what he said he would do. And that’s why Fidelity matters. 🎙️ Intro Welcome to VirTrue, the podcast about becoming a man of virtue and truth. We are continuing our season on Fortitude. We began with Rest, learning that we need to stop so that we can return to the good. Then Stability taught us to put down roots. Tolerance taught us to bear unavoidable evil without surrendering to it. Constancy taught us to stay the course when difficulties threaten to divert us. Now we come to Fidelity — Fidelitas. Fidelity takes another step. I am not merely continuing because the course remains good. I gave my word. I have pledged something of myself to God or another person, and Fidelity makes my actions correspond to that pledge. The Social Catholic is a listener-supported podcast. To receive new posts and support our work, become a paid subscriber today! 🟨 Virtue Description What Fidelity is Fidelity is the virtue by which we remain true to God and faithfully fulfill the rightful promises and commitments we have made, making our deeds correspond to our word despite difficulty, delay, changing desire, or even the threat of suffering and death. St. Thomas Aquinas gives us the foundation. In the Summa Theologiae, while discussing vows, he writes: “For one to be accounted faithful one must keep one’s promises.” Aquinas connects fidelity with the agreement between what a man says and what he does. A promise is more than a statement about how I feel right now. When I promise something, I use reason and will to direct something that I myself will do in the future. In a sense, I give something now that will not be delivered until later. I give you my word. And Fidelity makes the future deed agree with that word. The Catechism makes the same connection: “Fidelity to promises made to God is a sign of the respect owed to the divine majesty and of love for a faithful God.” — CCC 2101 Baptism entails promises. Confirmation entails promises. Matrimony entails promises. Holy Orders entails promises. Religious life entails vows. And ordinary Christian life is filled with commitments in which we place some part of our future actions into the hands of another. 💍 Marriage Marriage gives us one of the clearest human pictures of Aquinas’s principle. A man and woman stand before God and give their consent to one another. They do something extraordinary. They take a future they cannot possibly know and bind themselves within it. They don’t know what sickness may come. They don’t know what financial difficulties may come. They don’t know how they will change. They don’t know what sacrifices their children may require. They don’t know what the other person will look like decades later. Yet each says: I take you. The Catechism describes marital consent as the human act by which the spouses mutually give themselves to one another. That consent binds them together. See CCC 1626–1627. Fidelity then makes the rest of their lives correspond to the word they gave. The Catechism describes married life as a continual growth in communion through: “day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” — CCC 1644 That’s Aquinas’s Fidelity made flesh. I said I would. Therefore, I do. But marriage points toward something greater. ❤️ God is faithful first Christian Fidelity does not begin with our faithfulness. It begins with God’s. “If we are unfaithful he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.” — 2 Timothy 2:13 God’s deeds correspond perfectly to His word. He promises. He remembers His covenant. He fulfills what He has promised. Our Fidelity is an imitation of His Fidelity. 📜 Hosea and the unfaithful bride This is one of the great themes of salvation history. God describes His covenant with His people using the language of marriage. And then He tells Hosea to live that mystery in his own flesh. Hosea marries Gomer, an unfaithful wife. Her infidelity becomes an image of Israel. God chose His people. He loved them. He made covenant with them. And they continually gave themselves to other gods. Yet God says: “I will betroth you to me forever.” And: “I will betroth you to me with fidelity, and you shall know the LORD.” — Hosea 2:21–22 Salvation history is the story of a faithful God pursuing an unfaithful people and teaching them what Fidelity looks like. Again and again, we fail to keep faith with Him. Again and again, He demonstrates His Fidelity to us. ✝️ The Bridegroom Then Christ comes. And He identifies Himself as the Bridegroom. “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?” — Matthew 9:15 John the Baptist says: “The one who has the bride is the bridegroom.” — John 3:29 The God who called Israel His bride has come to claim His Bride. And Christ remains faithful to her even when that Fidelity leads Him to the Cross. St. Paul tells husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her.” — Ephesians 5:25 Then Paul tells us: “This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” — Ephesians 5:32 Christian marriage therefore reveals something much larger than itself. The faithful husband points toward the faithful Bridegroom. 🪔 The Ten Virgins Jesus gives us another image of Fidelity in Matthew 25. Ten virgins are waiting for the Bridegroom. All ten begin. All ten have lamps. All ten are invited to the wedding. But the Bridegroom is delayed. And only five are prepared when He finally arrives. That delay matters. Fidelity isn’t demonstrated merely by beginning. The question is whether we will still be faithful when the Bridegroom comes. The foolish virgins discovered at midnight that Fidelity cannot be improvised at midnight. The habits that keep the lamp burning have to be formed before the crisis arrives. And Scripture ends with the fulfillment of this entire story: “Blessed are those who have been called to the wedding feast of the Lamb.” — Revelation 19:9 God keeps His promise all the way to the end. ⚠️ Vice of Deficiency: Infidelity Infidelity is the failure to keep faith with a rightful promise or commitment, so that one’s actions cease to correspond to one’s pledged word. Aquinas explicitly describes the breaking of a vow as a kind of infidelity. Infidelity says: I gave my word then. But I don’t want to pay its cost now. This is why adultery is called infidelity. The evil isn’t merely sexual. It is covenantal. A promise was made. A person entrusted himself or herself to that promise. And now the deed contradicts the word. But marital infidelity is only one manifestation. We can be unfaithful to God. Unfaithful to our vocation. Unfaithful to our vows. Unfaithful to our children. Unfaithful to our friends. Unfaithful to legitimate responsibilities we freely accepted. Peter gives us a painful biblical example. At the Last Supper he tells Jesus: “Even though I should have to die with you, I will not deny you.” — Matthew 26:35 Hours later: “I do not know the man.” — Matthew 26:72 His deed no longer corresponded to his word. Fear made the promise expensive. And Peter failed. That is Infidelity. Yet Peter’s story also gives us hope. Christ restores him. And the man who denied Christ before a servant girl would eventually give his life for Him. Infidelity does not have to have the last word. ⚠️ Vice of Excess: Indiscretion Indiscretion is a disordered fidelity that clings to a promise, loyalty, or commitment without judging whether keeping it has become contrary to God, justice, truth, or a higher obligation. The indiscreet person says: “But I promised.” Sometimes those words are heroic. Sometimes they are an excuse for evil. Aquinas is clear that Fidelity does not require us to perform something evil merely because we promised to do it. An unlawful promise does not become lawful through Fidelity. You cannot promise to sin and then call committing that sin a virtue because you “kept your word.” 🩸 Herod and John the Baptist Herod gives us the perfect biblical example. At his birthday celebration, Herod makes a rash oath to Herodias’s daughter. He promises to give her whatever she asks. She asks for: the head of John the Baptist. Herod knows this is wrong. But Scripture tells us: “Because of his oaths and the guests who were present, he did not wish to break his word to her.” — Matthew 14:9 So John is killed. Herod keeps his promise. And sins by keeping it. Aquinas specifically uses this kind of case to explain why a promise or oath contrary to justice must not be fulfilled. That is Indiscretion. True Fidelity is always ordered toward the good. A lower loyalty cannot demand betrayal of a higher one. My fidelity to a friend cannot require me to lie. My fidelity to an employer cannot require me to cheat. My fidelity to my country cannot require injustice. My obedience to a superior cannot require sin. And my interpretation of a promise cannot outrank the truth. 💍 Marriage and Indiscretion This matters even in marriage. The Church teaches the indissolubility of a valid marriage. Difficulty does not dissolve a covenant. Unhappiness does not erase consent. Changing desire does not cancel a promise. But the Church also recognizes that sometimes what appeared externally to be a marriage was never a valid marriage at all. CCC 1629 explains that after examination by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, the Church may declare a marriage null—that the marriage never existed. An annulment does not end a valid marriage. It recognizes that the necessary reality was absent from the beginning. So if there are serious grounds to question validity, refusing even to seek the truth because: “I made a promise, therefore Fidelity means I can never allow the Church to examine whether a valid marriage actually existed” can mistake attachment to the appearance of a promise for Fidelity to the truth. Fidelity submits our promises to truth. Indiscretion sacrifices truth to our promises. 👤 My Story * In my youth, I wasn’t so convinced. There were some things the Catholic Church taught that I wasn’t fully committed to. * Out of ignorance and a lack of virtue, I would agree with my friends when they argued for the death penalty or for abortion in some limited cases. * I didn’t have a defense for the “Riches of the Church” or “Clergy abuse” or violence in orphanages and Catholic schools run by nuns. * Because of my lack of defenses I would default to an unfaithful shrugging of my shoulders. * This isn’t really an area I struggle with now * I get accused of Indescretion though as do most faithful Catholics. * I’ve mentioned before I have a tendancy to white knuckle it, and in the case of fidelity that’s actually somewhat of a strength. * I have experienced a lack of fidelity from employers. * Employees are expected to bend over backward in fidelity, but employers are ready to cut you on a whim. 🌎 The World We live in a world that has problems with both sides of Fidelity. On one side, promises have become provisional. We commit until something better comes along. Marriage becomes: As long as we’re both happy. Employment becomes: Until we feel like we don’t need you. Friendship becomes: Until associating with you costs me something. Faith becomes: Until the Church teaches something I don’t like. We want to retain the freedom to renegotiate yesterday’s commitments according to today’s desires. But a promise means precisely that today’s desire doesn’t get to erase yesterday’s rightful commitment. On the other side, we often confuse Fidelity with tribal loyalty. Protect the organization. Protect the party. Protect the company. Protect the family name. Protect our side. No matter what. That’s not Fidelity either. The faithful man asks: “What have I rightly pledged, and what does God require of me now?” Every human fidelity has to remain beneath our first Fidelity: Fidelity to God. 🛡️ Example Saint: Blessed Peter O’Higgins, O.P. c. 1602–1642 | Ireland Blessed Peter O’Higgins was an Irish Dominican priest living during one of the most violent periods of Irish religious conflict. During the rebellion of 1641, Catholics and Protestants were caught in brutal sectarian violence. O’Higgins was Catholic. He was a Dominican. But that did not make every action committed by Catholics just. Historical accounts record that he used his influence to protect the lives and property of Protestants around Naas. A Protestant clergyman, William Pilsworth, described being rescued from rebels who were preparing to hang him. Peter’s loyalty to his own people did not outrank his Fidelity to God and justice. Then the cost became personal. Government forces captured him in 1642. He was imprisoned and ultimately condemned to death. But Peter was offered a way out: Renounce the Catholic faith and live. Now Fidelity demanded everything. He could save his life by allowing his deed to contradict what he professed. Or he could remain faithful. Peter chose Fidelity. He refused to apostatize. And he was executed in 1642. Why he fits Peter O’Higgins shows us that Fidelity is not blind loyalty. When Catholics committed injustice against Protestants, Fidelity required him to oppose the injustice. When he was required to abandon the Catholic faith in order to save his own life, Fidelity required him to refuse. He would not betray truth for his tribe. He would not betray Christ for his life. His Fidelity was rightly ordered. God first. Truth and justice above faction. And his own life beneath the faith he had professed. Peter O’Higgins made his final deed correspond to the word he had given. He was faithful unto death. “Remain faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.” — Revelation 2:10 The Social Catholic is a listener-supported podcast. To receive new posts and support our work, become a paid subscriber today! ⚔️ Act of Fidelity O my God, I will remain faithful to You and to the rightful promises I have made. I will keep my word when it is difficult, when circumstances change, and when fulfilling what I have promised requires sacrifice. Help me to make my deeds correspond to my words and to imitate Your perfect fidelity to me. Give me the wisdom to recognize what I rightly owe to others, and never let loyalty to any person, promise, or cause lead me away from You, from truth, or from justice. May I remain faithful in small things, so that when Fidelity demands something greater of me, I may remain faithful even unto death. Amen. 🙏 Closing Prayer Lord, bless us with faith, hope, love, prudence, temperance, fortitude, and justice that we may live as you intended man to live, in all virtue and righteousness. Help us to flee from sin, and avoid all temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Protect us with a spiritual hedge in front of us, behind us, above us, below us, to our right, and to our left, within us, and all around us, and seal it with the precious blood of your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Help us to keep you in everything that we think, say, and do. Amen. ⚔️ Go out and fill the world with virtue. Deus Vult! Follow Us on Social Media and Other Podcast Networks: Get full access to The Social Catholic at socialcatholic.substack.com/subscribe